Ok so first I think permissions!...Nope they're all fine I ran disk utility, and used the install disk to repair the home directory ACLs I even went in and chmod'd the damn library.
After a while I gave up and called apple, they went through diagnostics, turned out it was just this single library that was busted, after an hour the engineer instructed me to create a new library and import stuff.
This while solving the problem left all the facebook albums missing, since my fiancé has a thing for facebook I couldn't just leave it at that, so this morning I had another crack.
Turns out some photo dates were corrupt (when I say corrupt I mean -2147483641/07/21221 an impossible date) after selecting all the corrupt photos and using "Batch Change" (note adjust date/time didn't work) and setting the date to today's date it fixed the problem! Yay.
I have left feedback with apple about the issue.